trophies, competition, and team sports

I don't read Imperfect Serenity often enough, but I loved this: "If every kid in softball deserves a trophy, doesn’t every kid on earth deserve a meal?"

Read the whole post, really.

We gave up competitive sports with Nick this year and I have never been happier about kid-activities. He used to "play soccer," as did Mariah, for years before, and it was never any fun, really. That is, the kids enjoyed the snacks, the banquets, the trophies (yes, we have a whole shelf of ones, mostly Mariah's), all that. Occasionally they enjoyed the games and, when they were little, even the practices, because it was a lot of running around. They learned almost no skills, and they hated that their teams always lost--although, given the skill instruction that wasn't going on, it was no surprise to us.

I actually did like hanging out with the other parents on the practice field, and even coming to the games with a mug of hot coffee on a chilly morning. There was certainly some value, too, in the kids just being outside. But Nick in particular is extremely competitive--he just hates to lose. (Second child syndrome, anyone?) And he usually did, so there were often tears after the game.

Now he does tae kwon do, twice a week. He spars with other kids, yes, but the point of the practice is not to compete with others but to do your best. And he does. He has progressed rapidly (or so it seems to his proud parents), learning new patterns and integrating new moves into his sparring. He has broken boards with his bare hand. He can focus. He can balance. And he can even (I love this!) meditate. You haven't lived until you've seen four or five little boys sitting cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed, hands in laps, meditating. What do they think about? I don't know...but I love it.

Some kids thrive in team sports, and I'm not opposed to them by any means. I think it's important to be able to cooperate with others, to anticipate and work together and all those other great skills. But, as Eileen says in her post, and Elise in hers, you can get that without the competition. And then you wouldn't have to waste all that money on trophies.