Being fourteen...

...was certainly not my favorite activity. Not being thirteen or fifteen, either. My daughter seems to be better at it than I am, for the most part. She's smart and funny, self-confident (mostly), talented, all good things. (OK, so I'm biased. Still, ask anyone!)

She's also overweight. When she was two her weight hit one of those unmentionable percentiles up over 95, while her height stayed at the 50th, and she's pretty much stayed that way ever since. Without wanting to cause any undue alarm (or an eating disorder), we've gently mentioned, from time to time, that she could use more exercise, that she might not want the second cookie, that fruit snacks are healthier than chips. Like most other "enlightened" parents these days, though, we didn't ever suggest that she should diet. In fact, the doctor told us not to, recommeding--at most--"portion control" and more exercise. She doesn't drink soda, or eat red meat. She pretty much eats what we all eat--which is to say, a relatively healthy diet, hardly any fast food, etc.--but she's pretty sedentary. As I was as a kid.

Yesterday she went to the doctor for her physical and asked about weight loss, and the doctor agreed that she should lose at least ten pounds. (She weighs ten pounds more than I do, though she's 3 inches shorter--and I could stand to lose a few myself.) She wants to do Atkins, and the doctor said she could.

Here's the thing. Two things. Maybe more.

Thing one: I hate the Atkins diet. I love carbohydrates and even more, I love to bake. And, even if I didn't, any diet that rules out whole food groups scares me. I know people lose on it, and the science seems to be changing every day, but that's my gut reaction.

Thing two: Why has the doctor been so careful to avoid talk of weight loss for all these years, only to bring it up now, at the very age when girls are most likely to develop eating disorders and poor body image issues? Does this seem like a contradiction? A problem? It does to me.

So anyway. We've been talking about it and we're going to try portion control, exercise, and modified Atkins principles--cutting way back on carbs, especially "empty" ones (you know, the yummy ones like pasta, white bread, white rice...) but not eliminating them totally. Will it work? I don't know. We're going to try to do it as a family, so she doesn't feel picked on or left out.

Sigh. I hate this stuff. I've never dieted successfully in my whole life, so I can't really advise her. On occasion I've lost weight but never when trying to (except post-baby). I guess the good news is that I survived adolescence feeling chunky and being teased for it (though I weighed considerably less than she does) and not developing an eating disorder despite being around anorexic girls. I know lots of people really think eating disorders aren't much about weight at all, they're about control, and maybe we can give her enough control over both her eating and her life that we all weather this crisis. But I'm sad and angry about it.